Tuesday, April 24, 2007


There's been a lot of talk about sex lately. Its kind of depressing, because sex education or not, a lot of people get action and I don't. The greater point is, given that there's a lot of fucking happening, do you want to turn a blind eye to it, or actually educate people about safe sex?
Clearly, the Indian Government, or at least a vast majority of the state governments think that Yoga is an acceptable outlet to teenage hormones. Wow. I'm still a teenager, and you have no idea how stupid that sounds. Forget sex, lets talk about porn. Heck, screw porn, watching a Sharapova Game ranks as higher on my list of fun and exciting things to do than Yoga is. But clearly our government were never teenagers, or more likely are just too sodding old now to ever remember that they once were.

But then who better to hear from about the benefits of Abstinence and the Joy of Yoga than Swami Ram Dev, Yoga Guru Extraordinaire. This is a man with no stomach, so I automatically fear him. But then he goes and does funny things, like lecture the population at the Taj Mahal about Abstinence.

I find this hilarious. So, Ram Dev goes to a monument erected in memory of a woman who died giving birth to her 14th (God in heaven!) Kid, and tells people to exercise restraint and return to the old ways. Yeah, worked out really exceptionally well for Shah Jahan, didn't it?

But then, sex or any major kind of fun isn't a part of our culture(so I'm told), and is best left to the western imperialists.

I must go now. An exciting evening of Yoga followed by a Bharatnatyam recital awaits. Post that, I shall attend an RSS rally, and then read the Communist Manifesto to realize how my country's been enslaved by crass capitalist pigs. If I'm feeling extra special, I might just catch a Sooraj Bhartajya film to realize the importance of a perfect family life.

Monday, April 23, 2007

What Not to Think About When Preparing For an Exam

Tags are pretty,
Tags are nice,
When you're tagging,
Time just flies.

I wish each exam,
Were an open book test,
Then all my study material,
Would be a colourful fest.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Book Shopping

My exams got over, so obviously I had to head to a bookstore. Retail therapy for me means pretty much one thing, going to a very large bookstore and getting lost there for a minimum of a couple of hours. Said bookstore in today's story is Kinokinuya, a gigantic humongous oh my god its too big to be real bookstore in Orchard Street. The place is so large, as I may have pointed out before, they have a little touchscreen thingummy that gives you a detailed map to locate the book you want. It is a bookstore, with a map.

But more importantly, its got these really large wood bookshelves, and they are giant and hover over you. I appreciate this very much in a bookstore, they should be enveloping cosy places, not light and airy like Borders. But then, Borders is an American chain, and they know stuff all about ambiance. The second wonderful thing about Kino is just the sheer range of books that you get there. There's just an overarching range and selection, and one just drools over all that you can buy. The third wonderful thing about the place is the completely brilliantly random stuff you get there that you'll never see anywhere else. My last trip, I got this wonderful book called The History of Bread, and I bet you wouldn't find it in too many other places.

But what I really love about book shopping is the books. I love buying books, I love owning books. I love the way they smell, and I love how they're sold. The advertising is right there, on the cover, and at the back of the book. They lure you with their titles and covers, and invite you to turn them over to give the back a look. A good book has a great introduction at the back, to make you want to read further. I'm also a bit compulsive and fidgety, and bookstores just make me feel good. I love running my hand through a bookshelf, stopping at every book to have a look at the title and then to move on. If I was so inclined, I could draw a wonderful allegory to how it's like life, however I'm not that much of a ponce yet, so I'll just say that its wonderfully fun and I usually am grinning like an idiot in the store.

When I grow up, I'm buying a bookshop. A nice small cozy one, with looming shelves and a varied and erratic collection, with Orwell and Rand sitting next to Bryson and Wodehouse; with Sin City sharing shelf space with Divine Comedy. It'll be me, in store form.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Exam Week

Its that delicious time of the year again. I hate this week, its boring beyond belief. Half my exams over, and I've lost all will to study. Part of it is because, well, studying is an extremely un-fun thing to do but part of it is also the paper I wrote today. I've never written a three hour long paper where I walked out feeling that I need a minimum of another hour and a couple more booklets to do justice to the paper.
The paper was Economic Analysis of Law, which I have taken to like a fish takes to lemon. Were it a different world, I'd even consider doing my masters in it, but sadly its this world and I have to at some point sit down and study Corporate Reporting and Analysis of Financial Statements(Not so affectionately nicknamed Corp-Rape). Sadly, my performance in said course was not an April Fools Joke, and one prays and hopes I pass the finals.

On the plus side, I can now write some pretty cool essays involving property rights and free market solutions to development, the next best thing to actually enjoying property rights and free market solutions to development.

On the minus side, I've spent more than the healthy amount of alloted hours life does at the Library. If they offered a place to shower and a bed to sleep, I think I'd never leave for a week. Highly disturbing.

I don't know if its just the exams, or the end of second year (have I bitched about that yet? Half my college life is over and I'm going to be twenty soon!) but I need a change. I hope my summer helps me find something more fun than what's been going on so far. When I come back to college for third year, I'm doing lesser courses, having no positions of responsibility, and just generally learning to relax in life.
Yeah, right.
At least I'll try.

Monday, April 09, 2007

StumbleUpon is ruining my life

That long dark teatime of the college goer's soul- the time Just before project submissions when you realise that, really, truly, you have done NO productive work and that has to change, SOON, the Devil himself tempts you by dissuading you from work. In my case, it is in the form of StumbleUpon. It is the sole reason for me wasting hours not working, and winding deeper and deeper into the unknowns of the world wide web. If I flunk this course, it is sooo not my fault.

And I have also fallen utterly, and completely, and irrevocably in love with Saif Ali Khan.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

April Fools

In the spirit of April Fools, here's a fun ol' list of things from around the world. Some of them are true, and some of them are a joke. Sometimes these days, its hard to discern the two.

  • China has property rights now. Well, at least for a few people.
  • New York has banned people from eating fats in restaurants. They aren't allowed to use cooking oil anymore
  • Apple and Google are working together to make a new phone, that will revolutionize the industry
  • Prabhakaran, chief of the LTTE, was responsible for the murder of Bob Woolmer.
  • Peanut butter has been used by Evangical Creationists to disprove the theory of Evolution.
  • I'm going along with my girlfriend for an all expenses paid trip to Switzerland this summer.
  • Generation of Light, it has been decided, is a taxable commodity in Karnataka as broadband providers are being charged for "light pulses". So basically, they can tax you for using a light bulb now.
  • Bal Thakerey is a closet homosexual
  • Napoleon was actually a pretty tall chap, for his time
  • I failed two midterms for the same course, and still got higher than class average.
  • Communists are taking land from farmers to give to industrialists
  • Big Pharma is selling vaccines to Africa at cost and is losing money on it. They don't seem to care
  • I spent $500 to get myself a decent sound system
So, anyhow. Some of it's true. Some of it is a blatant lie. The world's a funny place. I don't even know which is which anymore.

Good luck, and happy April Fools Day. May someone make a monkey out of you.