A Series of Unfortunate Events

I would have posted this earlier, except it has been a crazy wild last four days for me. Things have been going remarkably wrong, and I've just about finished dealing with all of them. Strangely enough, this story starts off rather well.

It was Harneja's birthday on a nice lazy Sunday, and I had just finished off a decent amount of studying that had to be done for the following week. I return to hostel to find out that the plan for the birthday is a party at the Beach at East Coast Park, Singapore, complete with Pizza and Coke. In short, it was everything your teetotalling drug free college goer wants from a good night of fun. At about Nine at night, we turn up there and head off towards the beach. Now, especially if you are from a city in the middle of a bleddy subcontinent, a beach is quite a fun and novel experience for you and seldom tires. I love the sand, the smell and the general wish wash of the waves and make no bones about it. I'm sure most of the Delhi crowd shared quite the same opinion. For the mumbaikars, it was probably a novel experience to see a beach in a city without a thick coating of plastic bags and assorted junk piled up. All in all, a good time. A few rugby tackles into the water later and we were soaked through and through, with sand in most unpleasant crevices imaginable. To ensure that I didn't lose my wallet and mobile to the drink, I placed it in a friend's bag, along with another chap. More on this later.
Soon after this, one headed off to indulge in some pizza(which by now was frigid cold, but pizza nonetheless) and coke(which by now was pushing room temprature, but coke nonetheless). That settled with, the majority returned to the beach, and I took off for a bit of a stroll with Malay and Dhruv. When we returned, I was accosted, thrown to the ground and buried in Sand. Then, shady sculptors proceeded to craft curves and organs upon me that do not belong. I also, for some odd reason, was made pregnant.

The two enlightened souls in the piture next to me then proceeded to indulge in an orgy which is far too graphic to display on this blog. There are quite clearly misguided kids reading it, and they don't need their brains damaged more than they already are.

Well, after all the hurly burly was done, we decided to call it a night and leave. At which point was discovered that the bag which contained my valuables, someone's laptop, and another wallet and cellphone was missing.
A bit of searching and prodding around later, we discover that it has been nicked, stolen you might say. Our cellphones refuse to be picked up, and the dastardly criminal mastermind to toy with us has not even switched them off.
After a few minutes of freaking out, the police were called and thus began a series of unfortunate events.
More on this later, with rants of how I've spent the last few days scrambling to get things back into order.