Writing/Reading

I just finished a book called "The World According to Garp", by Irving Wallace. It is a good book, at you react very differently to it all through the book. It has, however, forced me to think about writing again, so thats just what I'm going to do.

In a couple of days, I'll have my first piece of fiction out after a long time, and no, Little Red Riding Sash does not count.

Ego and Self

The dictionary, well most of them, seem to believe that ego, and the self are synonymous. Most self proclaimed egotists also believe that ego's are pretty much themselves. Well, here's the deal. Me, you and pretty much everyone else, including a dog named Boo, are not their ego's. Ego's are these wonderful things, which are very important to general survival, and success, especially if you're male.

See, ego's are the part of you that have developed to combat, well pretty much anything that needs to be combatted. Competition, crises, hardship, even values, which so so love to believe are innate to human nature, are pretty much creations of our egos.

Lemme give a personal example to illustrate my point. When I'm going for a debate, my ego takes over. I become proud, strutting, intensly competitive, I'll make jibes at whomsoever I see fit, oh, and it gives me the confidence and ability to speak well. Thus, its really important.

But remove the situation, make it normal, when nothing is going on, when you've got nothing to win or lose, and then you see the Self. Its the part of you that frankly doesn't give a damn. Its the part that sings your favorite song, and says things that your ego knows it shouldn't.

For example, my Self is pretty much content toying around with pens and shiny mettalic objects, and pretty much everything else. Ego's aren't allowed to play, not in the true sense.

Start the Drum Rolls

Announcing the start of a new blog, and the introduction of Sabse Bada Aadmi, Prateek Chadha to the blogosphere.

Please welcome, and frequent FUFASHION, the new guide to fashion for the unfashionable, by the unfashionable.

The Retrosexual Male

The last few years have seen a dramatic rise in a new species of guys, Metrosexuals. Now, the newspapers and magazines really overhype how many of these chaps there are, but lets get one thing clear, there are enough. They are growing. And they're becoming the top of the food chain. You can actually see guys getting mudpacks and facials in my Barbershop, oh I'm sorry "Beauty Salon" now, and the strangest things are becoming acceptable. A friend of mine's boyfriend, for instance, wore a pink shirt. I don't even think girls should be wearing pink, forget the stupider gender.

But worse than the rise of this new,SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) is the rapid demise of the Old Fashioned guys. Hence, I humbly coin a term for our like. We are Retrosexuals, males caught in a time warp, who don't want to join the new, fashion concious, trend-setting, and quite frankly, estranged Metrosexuals.

Lets outline what a retrosexual is.
A retrosexual pays little or no attention to personal grooming. He's very low maintanence, he tries to keep it that way. He still manages to dress well, though not in the latest of things. He's a simple Jeans and T shirt guy, no fancy stuff. No studs. No hair gel, no shosha-baazi.

A retrosexual has old fashioned hang ups, and values. He won't drink, he won't smoke. If he's religiously inclined, he'll stay vegetarian too. He's not a prude, but he's not inclined to sharing his feelings. His feelings are his own.

A retrosexual will probably have enough Female Friends, and they will be just that. Friends. Not Gal Pals. He will not, under any circumstances, go shopping with them. He will not councel them on relationships, or on what to wear. He will however, listen, and advise on any other matter he can. Which brings us to a really important thing.

A retrosexual is not a male chauvanist, but he does believe in Chivalry. If a girl is in trouble, he will help her, come what make. Equal treatment of sexes ceases to matter at that point, the girl gets preference.

Retrosexuals have a retro taste in music. They aren't in tune with the latest tunes, and will probably go for rock anyday.

Lastly, I'll repeat a key point. Retrosexual males are not open minded. They have set views, they are stubborn, and they don't make any pretenses about it. Because, lets face it, all males are stubborn, stupid, with set ways of thought. Its just that most of us try to hide it in this day and age.

Well, thats about it. I'm also introducing a new blog, co-authored by PC( Prateek Chadha), entitled Fucked-Up Fashion, shortly. It will be a guide to fashion for the unfashionable, from two guys who know all there is to know about being unfashionable.

Strange food-related obsessions

Two food-related obssesions have struck me in as many days. Now, this isn't a really strange occurance, as most obssesions of mine revolve either around food, or shiny objects.

The first was yesterday. Gol Gappa's and Chuski.
As I had earlier written, we protested to the mangament of Evergreen, and with good effect. The Gol Gappa Stand is back outside, the Paani is chilled again, and the bite is back. Wonderful, wonderful. The chuski was godawful though. Kala Khatta, which was neither Kala, nor Khatta. Most dissapointing.

The second was today, Hot Chocolate Fudge at Nirulas. My crowning achievement was not actually eating the damn thing, but convincing Vinay to step outside of his house at half past 1 in the afternoon, and accompany me to the Chanakya Nirulas.
Of course, this was easier, as I was treating him to one as well, but we shouldn't discount the magnitude of this achievement. Eaps is possibly the laziest human being to grace this god given earth. Walking is his least favorite activity, and he has all his fast food numbers on speed dial. (He's very tall and lean, he tells me, but lets see how long that lasts).
So congratulate me. His parents sure did.

A computer Saga

My computers been fucked.

Well, it still is. And is going to be till Monday.

But every cloud has a silver lining. Come monday, I shall have not a slow piece of obsolete crap, but something with 128 MB extra RAM, a fresh Hard Disk, and Windows 2000 Professional.

Finally, Karan won't be able to make fun of me!

WooHoo! Repect at last.

See ya Monday.

Well, Me Really

My brother's treat amongst my friends at Flavors provoked an often repeated discussion between me and PC. It relates basically to my Bluntness, its disadvantages, and, according to PC, the one sole advantage that it allowed me to be the only person to not have Zafar clinging to him. (I basically told him to fugg off)

This discussion, predictably, leads to the fact that this has made me make many enemies. Allow me to defend myself a bit. I have enemies, yes, but not many. Quite few, in fact, especially contrasted with the number of friends I make.
So I'll ask a question for my own feedback. Are some of you closer friends with me because of, or despite my bluntness?

Another point raised by PC, again an old one, but nevertheless pertinent, is that there are very few people that meet me that are indifferent to me. Whether or not this is correct, the reverse, I am sure, is not true. I do not share the same love-hate feelings with the world at large.

But again a question. Is it better to cultivate a large number of friends, and a good few enemies, or a small cliche of friends, a large number of people you're indifferent to, and keep no enemies?

As with many things, only time will tell.

A Slightly Pinkish one will do

Now that brother dearest is going to Bangalore, he's going to need some transportation money. He should travel first class, by plane, nonetheless, and for this you need money. Me being the ever enterprising one (I'm the one who revolutionized the Canteen Duty System, by introducing Hafta system) came up with a brilliant plan to secure this paisa maal.

See, IIM has this instant draw to it, and added to that, Bhaiyya has a good few other things going for him.
Presenting!

Bhaiyya's Matrimonial

Aadisht Khanna: Fair, 5 foot 8.5 inches Punjabi boy; Engineering graduate, currently doing first year in IIM Bangalore. From a liberal and open minded Business family, owning property in South Delhi Locality. Teetotaller and non-smoker, occasionally vegetarian. Religion/height no bar. Dimples and curly hair preferred. Horoscope not required.
Please send in your biodata and a cash amount of Rs. 100 enclosed in envelope to be considered, c/o Bhavya Khanna, B1/40, Safdarjung Enclave.


Ma says that at least 200 applicants would apply, I mean, Engineering and IIM doesn't just grown on trees! Thats a cool Rs. 20,000 I could rob from sick, deranged parents who think that money can buy their child's happiness.

Oh, and of course, I'd take a bit of a cut. That, of course, goes without saying.

Congratulations!

I am the new proud owner of a brother in IIM.

Prahji got admission into Calcutta and Bangalore, and is, of course, heading for Bangalooru.

Needless to say, the happiness quotient in Khanna parivar has never been higher.

Woohoo!

Sehwag Ki Ma

Sehwag ki Ma is one of those people you knows about, hell, one of those people everyone knows about, but no one really knows. She has, thanks to Reliance India become a cult icon, equivalent to Uncle Sam, or Doctor Peppers. Except she, unlike the above two, exists.

Now, I was discusing this today. Just imagine if Mrs. Sehwag were to enter politics, and campaign as an independant against Sahib Singh Verma in outer Delhi, hell any consituency in Delhi. She would never have to give her name. Her entire campaign would be as Sehwag Ki Ma, not even as Mother of Sehwag, or Mrs. Sehwag, or Amma Sehwag, but specifically, and only Sehwag Ki Ma.

She'd sweep it. You know why? Cos everyone knows her. You can't escape her. She's entered the national psyche, and won't leave.

I can imagine the ads already. Atal Bihari in an Inpo-Pak Conference.
Phone rings. Jaitley picks it up. "Sehwag ki ma?"
Ataaaaaaaaal! Message for you! Kar le Pakistan muthhi mein.

And thus ended the Indo Pak conflict.

Its possible, just give peace a chance.

Evergreen Reloaded

For those of you unfamliar with Evergreen Sweet House, its one of those hallmarks of South Delhi, the Bengali Sweet Market of our fair land.
Now, I hadn't had Gol Gappa's in quite a while, owing to my Ulcers, and Chapters in economics relating entirely to the pleasure obtained from eating the above had much increased my desire to consume the above. So I went to Evergreen after quite a bit of time today, to satisfy my hunger.

I was much taken aback. Evergreen has renovated, and become all sanitized-fast-food-joint types. Gone are the steel plates and cutelery, its gone onto a second floor, its become all sanitized, and here's the absolute worst part. The Gol Gappa's and Chaat have moved inside.

This means that you get Gol Gappa's in a plate, with the paani and aalo separate. You, I repeat, YOU are supposed to make the Gol Gappa yourself, and eat it not in the usual rush, but at your own sweet pace. On top of that, the Paani wasn't chilled. Needless to say, My Marginal Utility derived had definitely fallen.

Now, call me a bluffo traditionalist, but this had spoilt all the fun. I'm going to complain. I want my Gol Gappa's back.

Some things just shouldn't change.

Swaaaaah!

Each language, each culture has some words that simply cannot be translated without loosing some of the meaning. For example, we can try to use Chutzpah all we like, but only Yiddish speakers can understand in full the concept they want to relate by using it.

Another such word, or expression, for quite frankly, I don't really think there is much of a meaning behind it, is Swaah!.
Swaah is a word somewhat like Oy Vey, or Aiyyo, or something along the same lines. Except that it goes a bit deeper than that.
Now, like I said, this word would lose a lot in translation, but I'll give it a shot anyhow.
You use Swaah, not just when you are frustrated with a particular situation, but when you stand back, and take a look at the pure stupidity of what is going on. Swaah expresses not just frustration, but a sad understanding of what the hell has happened, and how you can do absolutely nothing to stop it.

Such is the nature of Swaaaaah! Now, if any pure minded gent would like to give an example of a Swaah situation, the commenting board is always open.