The Retrosexual Male

The last few years have seen a dramatic rise in a new species of guys, Metrosexuals. Now, the newspapers and magazines really overhype how many of these chaps there are, but lets get one thing clear, there are enough. They are growing. And they're becoming the top of the food chain. You can actually see guys getting mudpacks and facials in my Barbershop, oh I'm sorry "Beauty Salon" now, and the strangest things are becoming acceptable. A friend of mine's boyfriend, for instance, wore a pink shirt. I don't even think girls should be wearing pink, forget the stupider gender.

But worse than the rise of this new,SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy) is the rapid demise of the Old Fashioned guys. Hence, I humbly coin a term for our like. We are Retrosexuals, males caught in a time warp, who don't want to join the new, fashion concious, trend-setting, and quite frankly, estranged Metrosexuals.

Lets outline what a retrosexual is.
A retrosexual pays little or no attention to personal grooming. He's very low maintanence, he tries to keep it that way. He still manages to dress well, though not in the latest of things. He's a simple Jeans and T shirt guy, no fancy stuff. No studs. No hair gel, no shosha-baazi.

A retrosexual has old fashioned hang ups, and values. He won't drink, he won't smoke. If he's religiously inclined, he'll stay vegetarian too. He's not a prude, but he's not inclined to sharing his feelings. His feelings are his own.

A retrosexual will probably have enough Female Friends, and they will be just that. Friends. Not Gal Pals. He will not, under any circumstances, go shopping with them. He will not councel them on relationships, or on what to wear. He will however, listen, and advise on any other matter he can. Which brings us to a really important thing.

A retrosexual is not a male chauvanist, but he does believe in Chivalry. If a girl is in trouble, he will help her, come what make. Equal treatment of sexes ceases to matter at that point, the girl gets preference.

Retrosexuals have a retro taste in music. They aren't in tune with the latest tunes, and will probably go for rock anyday.

Lastly, I'll repeat a key point. Retrosexual males are not open minded. They have set views, they are stubborn, and they don't make any pretenses about it. Because, lets face it, all males are stubborn, stupid, with set ways of thought. Its just that most of us try to hide it in this day and age.

Well, thats about it. I'm also introducing a new blog, co-authored by PC( Prateek Chadha), entitled Fucked-Up Fashion, shortly. It will be a guide to fashion for the unfashionable, from two guys who know all there is to know about being unfashionable.