Time Ravages my Teens Away

As most of you will have forgotten, or chose not to know, a much blessed event occurs in less than a weeks time. Truly, on the 4th of September, 1987 I did come into this world, and its almost been a good seventeen years since then.
Yeah, so I'm turning seventeen soon, and, shit, I'm not going to be a teenager for much longer. Two more years, thats all, if you count 19 as a teen, and hey, thats really not much. Where did they go, and all that stuff.
You know how everyone tells you about how teenage is the most emotionally draining, hormonally charged, confusing time of your life? Don't believe them, they're a bunch of wussies who can't control their feelings. I'm about to finish my teens, and I've never been in serious depression, and have never had erratic mood swings.
Teens are great fun, even if you're not smoking or drinking the rest of your life away. Its being a kid that really bites.

I wish I could offer some more wisdom of my age, but hey, I'm turning 17, not 70. Thats all I have.
Only one more thing. Under no circumstances should any of you read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "A Hundred Years Of Solitude", unless you have exactly that amount of free time.

Hey, this is fun. Tell you what, on my birthday, I shall present the 17 great learnings of The Badshah of Blah!, over the last one year. Till then, adoo.