Saturday, April 02, 2005

How to Do South Delhi on Rs. 13



Statuatory Warning: The events further described were performed by trained professionals at velagiri. Do not attempt them unless under supervision. Hell, do not attempt them at all.


"...and the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need"

Wanderlust hit home today, and I felt a need to get out of my house, again. Everyone was busy, and the cricket match was going along swell enough, so I thought I'd hit the road at around 10ish.
I'm currently suffering a liquidity crisis, I have at this point no money in my wallet, and in the morning, I had all of Rs. 13 in assorted small change. With a wallet containing the above mentioned money, my iPod on half charge, and a mind not to get back for a while, I set off down the road, knowning not where I was to go.
Twenty minutes later, I land myself up at Green Park Market, only to realise that it's not really opened yet. After helping out random strangers looking for classical music, but confused as to why the Musicworld hadn't opened yet(I gave the brilliant advice to "wait for ten minutes", as everything would open shortly), I myself took a diversion through Park, and on my way to Aurobindo Market, to Midlands Bookstore.
Now, the Midlands chap knows me well, and was sweet enough to procure for me a glass of water on a hot summer day, while I spent half an hour in his bookstore without buying anything. But he humours me, for he knows me and my family will be back, to buy half his bookstore one day.
But I had the bug to move on, and soon took off for further locales. I took a grand tour of Hauz Khas, and Safdarjung Devolopment Area, walking through one of the nicest, and largest, colony parks I have ever encountered. The thing even had a jogging track, that was almost a kilometer long. I was highly impressed. The track ended, and I got back onto the main road, to end up at IIT Gate, where I promptly went and sat in a Barista, to get another drink of water, catch up with the newspaper, and watch the final ten overs of the Indian Innings. This was highly dissapointing, as they generally made a hash of the whole affair.
As the final overs ended, I decided to move on. It was now scorching hot, and I didn't wish to have another long walk for a while. So I went to the bus stop, and boarded the first thing that came my way, which happened to be a 764, taking me all the way to Vasant Vihar Depot. I didn't particularly want to go all the way to Najafghar. Total Money used till now, Rs. 2. Total distanced covered? Possibly 12 kilometers.
At Vasant Vihar depot, one realises it is a kilometer and a half to Priya, and it's also pretty darn hot, so I stepped to it, and did the journey in record time, to end up at, yes, you guessed it, The Barista.
Barista's are great for people with no money in their wallet, you can sit for hours without anyone really caring, while enjoying a nice airconditioner, and live cricket coverage. The place was full of cheapsters like me, who had just showed up with the intentions of catching a few overs, without paying for anything.
I also saw in the place a table with Two more iPod minis, and the chaps with them were highly shocked to see that I had the third offered color dangling from my shorts. You don't see three iPod Minis in the same place often, unless you're at an Apple Showroom.
But I move on. I watched the first 15 overs of the Pakistani Innings, till the point they were four down, and I said, hell, we can't really lose now. Besides, I was rested again, and it was time to spend time at Fact and Fiction, randomly browsing through books.
Now, there is only so much book browsing you can do in one day, and I needed to get out of the place. I had had my share of cricket, books, Vasant Lok Babes (There was one with a tattoo very low on her back, made visible by her even lower slung jeans). I needed another change, and took off down the road. I had a drink first, a Rs 6 Chotta Coke, which as I recall, Aamir Khan promised should cost Rs 5, and I am thus highly upset with their marketing. If it is not Paanch, what the hell use is it, anyway.

"...and my ties are severed clean
The less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign"

Rejuvenated, I took off, hoping to catch a bus at Malai mandir, for I no longer had suitable amount of cash to take the bus home from Priya. Besides, I had no intentions of going home just yet, and the blazing sun had probably made me mad as I Walked On(note suspicious U2 pun).
Somewhere around 45 minutes later, I had reached the edge of R. K Puram, and was fast approaching home, a place I still didn't wish to return to. So, for the third time in the day, I took a detour, and headed off to Deer Park, my childhood's fondest place.
I love Deer Park, it's full of trees and birdies, and Geese-Who-Give-You-Threatening-Looks. Oh, it's got some deer too, or at least it used to. I dunno where they've all gone to now. Anyhow, I took a good round walk through the park, with my iPod off, so I could listen to the rustling of the leaves, the chirping of the birds, and the loud accusatory noises made by the squatting geese.
Generally the geese are upwardly mobile, and make the loud accusatory noises while rushing at you for half a second, with open wings, but today, they calmly squatted, looking like hens about to give eggs. Perhaps that is exactly what they were attempting to do, but who knows these things.
My sojourn through the park ended, I exited and look for nearest ice cream stand to finish the last five bucks in my wallet, on a well earned and needed Mango Popsicle(Lick Lolly, for those Mother Dairy Inclined). I then finally decided to call it a day, for I was dehydrated, suffering from heat stroke, and had acidity, due to missing lunch. You cannot, I realise, eat lunch out when you have Rs 13 in your wallet at the beggining of a day.

I wouldn't reccomend anyone do this, ever. It's a ruddy foolish idea on a hot April Day, but sometimes, It's a fools life, and a fools' paradise. And sometimes, the road just calls you.

"Rover wanderer
Nomad vagabond
Call me what you will"

All quoted lyrics from Metallica's "Wherever I may Roam"

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