In the ancient days, when men were real men, women were real women and the word iPod didn't exist, there existed a wonderful concept called a Swayamvar. Now, as many of you may know I am very fond of ancient hithero unknown concepts(read pyramids) that are no longer in current usage for very remarkably odd reasons. I mean, I can understand throwing out Sati, and Purdah and other such disastrously outdated and silly concepts but here's one that just got phased out for no rhyme or reason.
Explanations are in order for my more culturally bankrupt readers. A Swayamvar is a ceremony where a stud girl gets a bunch of guys to indulge in feats of strength, valour and intelligence to vye for the right to marry her, and eventually chooses pretty much whoever she feels fits her bill. Read Sita Ram and the Big Bow. For you western types, read Portia in the Merchant of Venice. Ah, there's the point I missed, it's the father's responsibility to design these tests of Valour, Strength and whaddyamaycallit, and this is a role I feel I'd quite frankly warm to.
See, here's how things are going to pan out. If I have a son, then the need to worry about these matters simply does not exist. If indeed I have a daughter, she will grow to be witty, intelligent charming and generally every guy's dream. She will have several suitors and will be in a mess over choosing the right one, for they shall all be studs in their own right. Thus, she will need my help to help her decide, and like the times of old, she will have a Swayamvar to pull this off.
Any suggestions on what kinds of tests of Valour, Intelligence and Strength I should design to suit the needs of this modern age will be much appreciated.