17!

Seventeen years ago, to this day, me came into this world, a healthy, okay, fine, quite obese, 4 kilo baby. Since then, I've distingushed myself with some of the greatest achievements that teenagers have ever accomplished, for instance, and 88 game winning streak in freecell, and, of course, writing down on a single A4 sheet, the entire lyrics to "ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall".
Oh, yeah, and I've done some regular stuff to, but who gives a damn about that.
Strangely enough, I have learned a few things along the way. As I have promised, I shall narrate the :::
17 great wisdoms of The Badshah of Blah!

1. You wan't something done right, don't ask anyone involved in any official position to help. It's a sure shot path to failure.
   
2. The Pick Up Line, Tch Tch, Rrrrrrrrrr..... works for all of two people on this planet. You're not one of them.
   
3. Everything you say, in every way, will come back to bite you in the ass. Most important lesson of them all.
   
4. There's nothing you can do about it, so just go ahead and say whatever the hell you like.
   
5. Girls are nuts. They're a lot smarter than guys, but they're still nuts.
   
6. Your mother is always right. Even if she's not, she'll prove to you that she is. Deal with it.
7. Fortunately, it's also always your mother's fault.
   
8. If it itches, scratch it.
   
9. Any effort you make to save and enjoy your chocolates will translate into someone else eating them all at one go.
   
10. Breakfast is very important.
    
11. Lunch is very important. It should be had at a nice place, in accordance with the views of Douglas Noel Adams.
    
12. Dinner is not as important, but you should sit down and have a nice talk while having it. That is very important. Also, under no circumstances should you recieve phone calls during dinner. Especially from upset, PMSee singers who just broke up with you.
    
13. Some of the best ideas you'll ever get, you'll get while walking and listening to music. Do all that you can to maximise the time you're walking, and listening to music.
    
14. I hate to say it, hey fine, I don't, but a little arrogance pays rich dividents. Especially in RKP.
    
15. The right kind of daddy pays even more.
    
16. I'll never enter politics, or journalism. You gotta keep a little integrity in this world, lets not lose it all.
    
17. I'm not all that I'm cracked up to be, but then, neither are you.

Don't take half of this seriously. Follow the other half religiously. I won't tell you which, though, so pick and choose, and see what happens.
Worst comes to worst, you'll turn into me. Hehe. And wouldn't that be a tragedy.
Happy Birthday to me! Didums.