Today, we had the scholar badge function, the last scholar badge function for my batch. Some 230 odd of us, a priveledged few (I have a batch of 1100, okay?) were recipients of badges, blazers, ties and of course, 53 chosen few, who've been in the school long enough, and been working hard enough, and well, been generally smart-ass enough got Gold Medals, for consistent acads. Woo Hoo to them.
The point I am trying to make here is, that after two years of little or no work, and one year of exceedingly hard work(11th class science), I recieved my very own Blue Blazer(Which, by the way, is five sizes too small, and will have to be changed for something that might fit over my shoulders, and not Damini's), for consistent acads over three years, hence proving that I am not in fact, a total chump.
My exam results for this term will of course tell you otherwise, but for one day at least, I manged to feel a little bit smart, and good about myself. And hey, if I could get a decent enough score in 11th, it gives me hope that I can pick up again in 12th. Bad times are transient, and just because I fucked up once, doesn't mean I'll fuck up all my papers again.
This is also the spiel I will be taking to my teachers on Monday, when I ask them to generously fill in my Projected Board Marks, for college applications. If I believe it, then they shouldn't have much of a problem. Faith in oneself is far harder a thing to accomplish than getting others, especially teachers, to believe in you.
So in the wise words of Russel Watson, I've got faith. Faith of the heaaaaaaaaaartt.